The ONE thing about inner critic that changes everything once you understand it

The Self Salutation Newsletter

Greetings and Salutations!

Since not everyone was able to make it to the 5-day challenge we just finished, I want to share the one key takeaway I wish everyone knew from all the material we covered.

When you understand just this one thing it has so many ripple effects and ramifications that I had to share it with you.

But before I get to that, I need to let you know about a BIG announcement that is coming up. Let me explain…

Originally I planned just to hold a Masterclass as the culmination of the 5-day challenge.

Then (and this is a bit of a spoiler) I decided to launch my new course about conquering your critic and becoming your own best friend.

Well, one thing led to another, and now I have a far far bigger announcement to make.

So I want to invite you to the Masterclass AND the big unveiling of my announcement… which will be this Thursday, April 18, at 5 PM Eastern Time.

You can register for the event here:

Okay, now onto today’s message…

The ONE thing about the inner critic that changes everything

The one thing is how your inner critic came to be.

Please allow me to tell you the best inner critic origin story I have discovered.

Very early on in life, you had to confront an unpleasant reality: you were not as perfect as the world seemed to want you to be.

As a child, this created a tremendous challenge.

To a child’s mind, the fact of not being perfect appeared to have enormous potential ramifications.

The worst result of all was that it seemed possible to you that your caregivers might withdraw their love from you.

Even if that was never a possibility, it seemed possible to your child’s mind. This was devastating. It threatened your survival.

The child’s solution was to internalize the most demanding voices around you–but to do so with the child’s mentality: its logic, its temperament, its expectations.

A fundamental trait of all children is impatience. Children simply can’t understand that some inner challenges take years to resolve. Some take a lifetime.

The facet of your persona that developed at this time, therefore–your inner critic–has fantastic expectations and demands immediate perfection.

It can tolerate nothing less.

Okay, perhaps you’re intrigued but still wondering… but how does this change everything?

Well, let me explain three things—and the way I get from three to everything is that if you disengage your inner critic based on these three things then you really have changed everything.

1. You can stop beating yourself up for beating yourself up

The first powerful thing this origin story changes is that understanding the critic’s origin provides the foothold for dismantling this little monster because at the very least, you can accept yourself for having an inner critic.

It gives you a way to stop yourself from beating yourself up for beating yourself up.

This was pointed out to me by a participant, by the way—and it’s absolutely true.

Can you relate? I sure can.

We get tied up into lots of cycles like that: we get depressed because we’re depressed, angry because we’re angry, etc.

So this is a huge step!

2. Whatever the critic is focused on is not the real problem

When you realize that the inner critic has formed to address your fear of not being as perfect as the world wants you to be, you now know that underneath the critic is something entirely.

That means you now have a good reason to dismiss the critic — but more importantly to get the real problem.

You see the critic will have you tied up in knots about superficial flaws and shortcomings while the deeper problem that is the cause of that challenge goes unattended to.

The critic will lambast you for procrastinating when the real problem is that you’re depressed.

The critic will berate you for spending too much money when the real problem is that you’re insecure about something.

The critic will harass you about your inability to get a date when the real problem is that you’ve never overcome the pain from your last relationship.

And I could go on and on.

So now you know that to uproot the critic, don’t take is seriously—instead look for the real problem beneath the problem and address that.

3. You can stop turning to the critic for your sense of worth

There’s one more powerful way this understanding can help you.

You see, relying on the critic to help us attain perfection is as if we said, “Well, I may not be everything the world expects from me, but if I lean on this critic perhaps I will survive.”

Of course, we know that if you depend on the critic for your sense of worth, you will never attain that feeling of worth because you will never truly measure up.

There’s no placating your critic with its ridiculous standards.

Chasing after the perfection of the critic is exhausting and ultimately futile.

This is why you can see phenomenally successful people who are still wracked with insecurities, driven by feelings of inadequacy, and unable to be at peace with themselves.

But if you start to probe for your own worth, you will definitely find it within you.

Your inherent worth and dignity was gifted to you at creation. It’s already a settled fact. 

For believers, of course, it’s a gift from God.

There’s nothing you or anyone else can do to take that away from you. 

Because it’s already unlimited, your worth is not inflated due to any success or depleted by any failure.

Of course, like many of the things we’ve discussed, it’s not possible to unwind through an exercise or two.

The solution is to gradually, over time, situate your worth in a sense of your own inherent dignity.

It likely won’t surprise you to hear that, as with everything we’ve discussed in this challenge, becoming established in a sense of your own worth is part of the Self Salutation process.

Which brings me to a reminder that I hope you will join me for the Masterclass AND the big unveiling which will be this Thursday, April 18, at 5 PM Eastern Time.

You can register for the event here:

I hope this helps you on your journey!

Peace,
Simon